February is generally the worst month. It’s cold as fuck, there aren’t any real holidays, and there’s generally nothing to look forward to as the summer still sits months away. Yeah yeah, for the non-single ladies out there who are lucky enough to get treated properly there is that ONE day, but that’s it. Why else would they make it the shortest month of the year?!
Luckily, every four years we are blessed with the Winter Olympics. However, as I sit at my desk, day after day watching the various events, I have to say I can do nothing more than ponder at what the fuck is going on. Some of the events are self-explanatory, the scoring makes sense and everyone can follow. But some of these things make no sense to me.
These figure skating fellows dance around in their sequin covered tutus and move after move, spin after spin, I still can’t tell the difference. One dance that seems just as good as the last gets a score 20% lower, based on what? Who the hell knows?! Someone falls and still gets a higher score then their predecessor who remained on their feet the entire time. If you fall, you lose, that seems like a fair rule to me. If I showed up to work and spent half the day lying on the fucking floor, I’d get fired within the week.
Now the other issue with the Olympics are the events that are just mind numbing. You can’t seriously expect me to believe there are bobsledding fans?! Two guys jumping in a spaceship and flying down a slide feels more like a drunken Saturday night in Canada as opposed to a respected Olympic event. Especially when you consider the best and worst teams are separated by tenths of a second.
I have to say though; I was pleasantly surprised at how entertaining curling can be. Ok fine, maybe I’m kidding, but a small part of me isn’t. I watched the gold medal matches for both men’s and women’s curling, and I never knew throwing rocks down a slip n’ slide could actually be so strategic. Thank god it requires nearly no concentration to actually follow a curling match, I don’t know if anyone has that kind of patience, but tuning in every twenty to thirty minutes does yield a small amount of satisfaction.
But let’s be honest here, the only real event of the Olympics is the hockey, right? My guess is that any given hockey game gets more viewership than any other event. And working in Canada it also means a few solid hours of guilt free entertainment at the office.
Anyway, as the Olympics wrap up I can only say that it was a pleasant distraction that made February just a little more bearable.
Thanks Vlad!
Andrew
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